Silly senshis!
by Fade9wayz
Summary: Our favorite senshis talk about their respective crushes - Shoujo ai
1. Guessing games

GUESSING GAMES  
  
I don't know where this one came from. I was going for a Rei/Makoto fic, just for the sake of it, and I thought it would be funny. But somewhere along the way it became that... Strange, I'm not even an Ami's fan... 'hope you'll like it, though. And as usual: no, I don't owe Sailor Moon and I don't intend to make money out of it, anyway, it isn't likely I would... And if you're uncomfortable with these kind of subject, just don't read it, bla, bla, bla... (19.09.03. by Fade)  
  
The crowd of students rushed out of the school, enjoying their retrieved freedom. Two almost identitical blondes stepped out on the street together, stretching leisurely in the bright sun of the summer break.  
  
"Haaa... At least, two months of vacation! I thought these final tests would last forever... And we even managed to graduate, thanks to Ami- chan... "  
  
"I know what you mean Usagi, I really didn't think I would pull out through this... Speaking of our savior, where is she? And where's Mako-chan either? "  
  
At this, the odangoed girl grinned mischievously. The other blonde raised an inquisitive eyebrow, knowing all too well this I-know-something-you- don't-smile.  
  
"All right Usagi, spit it out, I know you're dying to... So what's up? "  
  
Usagi giggled, the mischievious grin replaced by a conspiratorial one, Usagi leaned closer to her friend, whispering in her ear: "Minako... Have you ever wondered about a secret relationship between those two? "  
  
This caught the other blonde off guard and she almost fell over. "WHAT? " She gasped, then more quietly "Who? Mako-chan and Ami-chan? Together? No way! Are you out of your mind? "  
  
"What? " Frowned her friend, putting her hands on her hips "What's wrong with that? I think they would fit each other nicely, they'd look really cute together... "  
  
"Hey, I don't have any problem with it... But... But Makoto is the most boy-centric girl I know... What with all the boy's hunting? And Ami! Kami! You can't even suggest to her this kind of thing with a guy, least of all with another girl, without having her head blowing out! "  
  
"Ami was the first one to figure things out about Haruka and Michiru... " Usagi pointed out. "... And she took it fairly well... And being shy doesn't mean you can't have crushes! As for Mako-chan, I'm pretty sure her boy's chasing is just a decoy for us. Why do all of her dates end up badly? "  
  
Minoko sighed bitterly "You could say the same about me, or Rei, for that matter you know? Each time we are on a date with a nice guy, poofff, a youma shows up somewhere and throws everything out through the window... We don't all have the luck to have a Mamo-kun served right at our feet by Fate... "  
  
Usagi's hand flew to her mouth as her cheeks reddened in embarassement "Oh Minako, I'm so sorry, I'm such an airhead! Please, forgive me, I'm always talking without thinking... " She petered out shamely, tears forming in her eyes.  
  
Minako raised her hands in an attempt to stop Usagi's self berating. "Oy, now don't do that, that's not your fault at all... " She smiled reassuringly and gave her friend a hug. "Things will eventually sort out and in the meantime, we have the best friends we could hope for... "  
  
Usagi returned a shy smile. They walked quietly for a while, each one rummaging in her own thoughts. Then, out of nowhere : "... But, don't you think they'd do make a cute couple? "  
  
Minako stopped and considered it, a finger tapping at her lower lip. "I don't know... I'd have thought that would have been Rei who would have been after Ami... "  
  
It was Usagi's turn to trip and almost fall down. "Rei? What makes you say it? Do you have some informations I don't? "  
  
Minako laughed at her princess's eagerness. "No... That's just guessing game, just like your Makoto's theory... But I think mine is better... " She smirked. "After all, they know each other for the longest and don't we say that the opposites attract each other? Rei is fiery and passionate where Ami's cool tempered and rational. Rei's a miko and a psychic when Ami's the most scientific and down to earth mind, only steam can come out of this... And you were the one to tell me about the cruise Rei invited Ami to... Although... "  
  
"Although? "  
  
"Well... I've always wondered about your constant bickering with Rei... " Minako burst out laughing when her friend went beet red. "Why Usagi, is there something you'd like to tell me? "  
  
"Wha... What? No, of course not, there's nothing between her and me... I have my Mamo-chan, why would I want Rei? " stammered the odangoed girl.  
  
Minako, smiling like she'd eaten the canary, went in for the kill. "Let's see... She's easily one of the most beautiful girls in this world. Plus she's got this glow of mistery around her, and as I said, Rei's so fiery and passionate, I can almost feel what it would be like to have her arms around me, holding me tight... to have her warm and so sensual body pressed against mine..." Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Usagi become even redder if that was possible. Her voice dropped lower, getting huskier "... To feel her fingers and her hot lips tracing burning patterns on my skin over and over until... " She trailed off in a soft moan, which seemed to snap the other girl out of her reverie.  
  
"Minako! " By now, Usagi was bug-eyed and slightly panting, noted Minako. She chuckled, had Usagi been a male, she'd have died from lethal nosebleed long ago.  
  
Usagi shook her head to free her mind of the all too vivid image of two of her best friends involved in something that would boil the blood of a crocodile caught in the ice. "You're such a naughty girl! " Having recollected herself, she smiled slyly.  
  
"By the way, I seem to recall that you were the one she was hunting down when she was possessed by this youma back when you went to visit her school... She even got you, then you actually know what it feels like, you don't have to imagine at all, and for what I just heard, you enjoyed it a great deal... "  
  
It was Minako's turn to blush brighlty. "Hey, it never got that far! And as you said, it was the youma, not her... "  
  
Pleased with herself to have caught the other girl at her own game, Usagi decided to come back to their former subject. "And my theory is as good as yours. Makoto is as hot-tempered as Rei, but she's also sweet and caring. She's strong and she's always seemed extra protective wherever Ami was concerned. And Ami has always had this calming effect on Makoto. Sometimes, it feels like she's the only one who can bring her peace, because Makoto trusts and respects her implicitly. They really would be good for each other... "  
  
Minako's face took a far away look. "Yeah, Mako-chan 's so strong, and she's got some experience... She must be quite something too... And those breasts... "  
  
"Minako! Will you stop this! " Yelled the other blonde, her face set aflamed once again as she could picture far too well where her friend's thoughts had wandered.  
  
Minako sighed dramatically, which made Usagi chuckle softly.  
  
"You know what, I know it's ridiculous and we don't even know for sure if any of them are into girls, but right now, I can't help feeling a bit jealous of Ami... Just like that. For the sake of it. "  
  
Usagi patted Minako's back in simpathy ~ I would be too if I hadn't already my Mamo-chan... And even like that... hum, I really should drop this line of thoughts... I don't know what life has in store for us, but I suspect things will work out on their time... ~  
  
"And I'm not even sure I'd be jealous of her or about her, instead. I can just see it : her lithe body pinned beneath mine, shivering and bulking in the throes of passion... Unable to vocalize anything else but moans and gasps... What I would do to her, what I would make her experience, what I would teach her... And she would be the best of students as usual... " Minako's eyes were blurred, her tongue slowly licking her upper lip in anticipation...  
  
That did it. This last comment sent Usagi for a loop and she landed very ungracefully on her buttock. She was now definitely speachless and staring at her friend like she had grown another head or something.  
  
Minako smiled evilly "What? I am the goddess of love after all... and don't look so shocked. " She helped Usagi up but didn't let go of her hand. "If you have wondered about Ami and Makoto, and about Rei, I'm sure you did about me too, and also about the Outers... " Internally, Minako was struggling not to double over in laughing at Usagi's look. Instead, she leaned in close until her mouth was inches apart from her friend's, whispering seductively. "Don't even bother to deny it... "  
  
She watched her princess backpedale hurriedly, stammering incoherent denials and slamming in the wall behind her. This time she couldn't help herself, Minako laughed, and laughed. So hard that she collapsed on her knees, clutching desesperatly her stomach as her laughter became painful.  
  
"Oh, ha, ha... Very funny, Mina-chan! Ok, maybe I deserved this one. I'll stop talking about all of this. "  
  
"I never thought I'd see the day you'd admit being nosey! " Said the other blonde, faking wonderment.  
  
Usagi frowned, then seemed to notice something particularly odd behind Minako. She blushed madly and squeacked "Hum, well, ok... I've got to go, see you later... " And she dashed down the street, followed by the musical laughter of her friend. However, the said laughter came to a crashing end when the remaining blonde heard suddenly someone clearing their throat. She turned around dreadfuly, only to be met by two stern stares and a very, very embarassed one. "Oh, Ohhh..... " 


	2. Affirmation

Affirmation by Fade  
  
Pairing Mina/Rei A sequell to 'Guessing Games'  
  
Hell! I can't help being diverted when trying to do a goddamn fic pairing Rei and Makoto. Well, this one does involve these two but not in the way I first meant. I must admit, after posting 'Guessing games' that it felt somewhat incomplete, so I had to write a sequell, and the Mina/Rei and Mako/Ami pairings are my favored ones, so, 'hope you'll enjoy this... Ah! Uh... Yeah, I don't owe Sailor Moon or I would be rich, which is not the case, then don't sue me, it really isn't worth the effort.  
  
P.S: Shinjuku is one of the most well-known quarters of Tokyo. To be absolutly visited!  
  
P.P.S: Sorry for the errors I'm sure you'll find, but english isn't my first language...  
  
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"Are you in love with Usagi ? "  
  
The question jolted the raven haired girl out of her near sleeping state.  
  
"WHAT?!? What was that for??? " she nearly screamed, shell-shocked.  
  
"Well, you were fallin' asleep... " Her tall friend chuckled and pointed out at the snowstorm raging out of the temple. "... and I don't want to freeze to death, and since you're the only one who can warm this place up, this was as good a way as any to wake you up... "  
  
The other girl scowled but complied. She concentrated and the sigil of Mars appeared on her forehead as waves of warmth spread in the bedroom. When the temperature reached their liking, she stopped and sighed.  
  
"I wish this electricity cut will be soon repaired, this is getting quite exhausting... "  
  
"I know... But you know I can't let you sleep after the concussion you took to the head... And how's your ankle? "  
  
"It's a little painful, but I'll live... " She smiled "I'm lucky you were here when the roof of the sacred fire room fell from the weight of the snow... Thanks again Mako-chan. "  
  
The tall girl waved a hand dismissively. "Don't mention it, you should rather thank Ami-chan, without her and the communicators, I wouldn't have known what to do! I felt so helpless when I saw you unconscious under this mess! "  
  
A comfortable silence fell between the two, basking in the warmth of true frienship this time. They used to be such loners before they met Usagi. Their life had changed so drastically the day they met her, and not only because of their rediscovered senshi destiny. They would never be alone anymore... Speaking of the bunny...  
  
"So Rei-chan, you didn't answer me, are you in love with Usagi? "  
  
The miko's eyes tripled in size as she was startled out of her reverie once again. She quickly recovered as her legendary temper rose.  
  
Her eyes flamed "Even if I were, I don't see what gives you the right to ask me such a rude question! "  
  
Makoto smiled, "You know me, always the blunt one... " Then, in a more serious tone "You're right, I don't have the right to ask you this, but I must admit that's been naggin' me since we caught Usa-chan and Mina-chan compare... our relative advantages... " she mused, a thoughtful finger rubbing her nose.  
  
Rei grinded her teeth in memory "Please, don't tell me you're giving them any credit for this, this was toughtless gossips and had I been Ami-chan, I wouldn't have forgiven them so easily! I thought she would never be able to look at us in the eyes anymore! "  
  
"Well, we did punish them and they have learned their lesson... " She shuddered "... And what Ami chose to inflict to them was by far the worst... Remind me never to get her upset, who would have thought she could be that scary?!? "  
  
"Hey, never underestimate the quiet ones... " The miko grinned "Still, that was something to see, Usa-chan and Mina-chan having to walk through all Shinjuku dressed in bunnies (no, not the playboy bunnies, you ecchi!.... Oh, well, now that I think about it, 'might as well do, after all...) with little baskets full of their favorite candies to give to passers-by. " She refocused her attention on her friend "If you fear Ami's reaction, how dare you bring this back up. "  
  
"I'm not talking about Ami-chan, I'm talking about you. As much as I don't like gossips, they did have a point... in some way... "  
  
"What do you mean? "  
  
Makoto looked straight at Rei "Can you honestly tell me that if she asked for your love, you wouldn't give it to her gladly? "  
  
The fire senshi's gaze was as piercing as a laser beam as she considered her friend, one couldn't help but to squirm under such stare. You just knew she could see at the very bottom of your soul, that was both frightening, and strangely... stimulating. Passion was lurking just beneath of the otherwise very controlled miko. Mina was right, the one who would win her over would indeed be a lucky one, Makoto mused.  
  
Then, Rei's gaze softened "And yourself, wouldn't you? " she asked quietly.  
  
Makoto blushed, then laughed sheepishly "I guess that each of us would, whether we admit it or not... And we all know that she would never do that, not because she couldn't love one of us this way, but because that would be destructive for our group, our friendship. Love is a powerful force, and we would be happy if she's happy with any of us... However, jealousy is dangerous, it slowly eats you from the inside, leaving only bitterness. Wars have been thrown in the name of love. We are human beings and as such, can be mistaken... " she smiled brightly. "Beside, she really loves Mamoru and anyone can see he's good for her. To have her friendship is already more than I can ask for..."  
  
Rei nodded, then grinned "... Anyway, I suspect she wouldn't be able to choose among us! "  
  
They both laughed at that.  
  
When they calmed down, feeling the chill, Rei used her power to warm her bedroom once again.  
  
Resuming her task, she heard her tall friend whisper "You know, sometimes, I envy Haruka and Michiru too, because they have found each other... "  
  
The miko just looked at the thunder senshi encouragingly.  
  
"I mean, I can't help to wonder if I'll ever find the one who'd make my heart beat faster, who'd ease my soul, who'd bring me peace... I'm scared that this person doesn't even exist, or that I'd lose this chance if I found it. "  
  
The raven haired girl rested a tender hand on Makoto's right forearm and squizzed it lightly. "I could give you the we-will-always-be-there-for-you speach, but you already know that. You long for more... As I do. As Mina- chan do, and as Ami-chan do. " She took the taller girl in a soft embrace " We'll live a thousand years, I can't believe, I won't, that we should spend them whithout true love, that would be insane, more than that, that would be unhealthy! " She felt her friend returning the embrace in a somewhat desperate grip and smiled up at her. "However, I think you've already found the one your heart is calling for, you're just afraid to act on your feelings. "  
  
Makoto blinked at her several times before blushing a bright shade of red and giggling nervously. "So, you've got me all figured out, d'you know you're too wise for your own good? "  
  
Rei smirked "If I was that wise, I would have made Yuichiro repair the roof of the sacred room before he left and I would't have a bad ankle! " She hesitated a moment before finally asking "Why don't you tell her? "  
  
Makoto sighed. "I'm afraid... You saw how Ami reacted... I fear she doesn't feel the same... Had it been Mina-chan, I'd know she'd have considered the idea, at least. "  
  
"Hum... A bit too much for my liking... " grumbled the miko.  
  
Her tone of voice made Makoto raise an inquisitive eyebrow. The thunder senshi smiled smuggly "Now, now, 'seems I'm not the only one to keep secrets! " She looked up thoughtfully "With your ankle in this state, that will give you the opportunity to have Mina-chan fussing all around as soon as she can reach the shrine! "  
  
"Now, who is the smart-aleck? " The miko scoffed, but couldn't hide a faint blush. "So, what are you going to do? Are you going to wait 'till the end of the world or will you tell her? You know her, she won't hate you... "  
  
"Who? Mina-chan? I don't think... "  
  
Rei smacked her "You know whom I'm talking about! Then stop playing dumb! " She pointed out as her blush deepened. "Anyway, what makes you think she hasn't... Maybe she's as afraid as you are, and she probably doesn't appreciate people gloating about her in her back, which I can understand! "  
  
"Then we're probably lucky she can't hear us right now! "  
  
Suddenly, the thunder senshi remembered something. She looked down veeerryy sloowwlly at her communicator lying on the nightable. Her face went bone pale.  
  
Curious about the sudden silence of her friend, Rei looked past her and nearly swallowed her tongue in embarassement. There, in the little screen, stood Minako, madly grinning from ear to ear. Her grin turned evil, she looked at the miko who could have sworn she saw little horns grow on the blonde girl's head as she said sweetly "... I can't wait this storm ends up! You know, I've kept my bunny costume... "  
  
She let the thought linger as a very stammering and very, very red Rei tried not to pass out of shame and humiliation.  
  
Makoto didn't know if she should feel sorry for her raven-haired friend or not. The blonde was probably going to tease poor Rei mercilessly. But she was happy for Minako. She had known for a long time that the senshi of love had a thing for the miko but thought that Rei had her eyes set on their princess, instead of her.  
  
Minako's tiny picture turned to her tall friend, a mischievous look on her face "Mako-chan, you should know better than to forget to shut down your communicator, especially when you're hugging 'my' girlfriend on 'our' bed... "  
  
Makoto suddenly realized she was still clinging to Rei, yelping, she let go of the miko so quickly that she lost her balance and fell hard on the floor.  
  
She grunted ' That's for me I should feel sorry! ' She thought as she heard the blonde laugh at their expense.  
  
Just at this moment, Minako's face was replaced by Usagi's cheerful one on the screen. "What did I just hear? Rei is Mina-chan's girlfriend? Wow! I'm so happy for you two! That fits just what I was guessing about you two! Though the way you spoke about Rei-chan was quite a good hint, Mina-chan! And it leaves Mako-chan free for Ami-chan, isn't it? This is just perfect! I knew I was right! Now, 'just have to set Setsuna-san with Seya-san... "  
  
Rei and Makoto could only stare slack-jawed to their babbling princess, their mind process short-circuited along with the electricity network of this part of the city, while Minako could still be heard laughing madly.  
  
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In another building, not so far away, a blue-haired girl was blushing so hard that she could be used as a traffic light, even as her fingers were thightly gripping at her communicator...  
  
The end.... Maybe  
  
. 


	3. Setsuna's advice

Setsuna's advice  
  
By Fade  
  
A Sailor Moon fanfic  
  
Makoto/Ami  
  
"So, Makoto's in love with you?"  
  
Her blue-haired impromptu guest just nodded, too embarassed to utter a word. Not long after the snow storm had ended, she had found herself wandering aimlessly in the frozen streets of Juuban. Something she had always enjoyed in winter. But, she wasn't sure how she had finally ended in front of the house where the Outers lived. It was not exactly close to her own home, to say the least!  
  
That's how Setsuna had found her, standing in the doorway with a blank stare and barely responding to external stimuli. The older senshi had gently led her visitor to the living room. The Inners had once told her how badly Ami would zone out when she was under deep emotional stress, but she had never actually witnessed it. She had wanted to call the others for help, but the young genius had suddenly lunged at her, snatched her communicator and refused to give it back. That had, of course, worried the time senshi greatly, and when 'she' was under deep emotional stress, 'she' lunged at chocolate. So, she had silently produced two steaming mugs of cocoa and had settled on something she was pretty good at: waiting.  
  
Luckily, she didn't have to wait until the next ice age before Ami finally blurted out the whole story. Now, Setsuna was having a hard time keeping a straight face. Had she been alone, she would be rolling on the floor with laughter. To be a time senshi required a lot of mind flexibility. And a solid sense of humour, considering how long she had lived. Really. There was nothing such as a straight line, when time was concerned. Everything could and could not happen. Even the most ridiculous things. Especially the most ridiculous things. Take Usagi's speeches, for exemple. However, when the train was well on its way, some things WERE bound to happen, provided that no gangsters would try to stop it with a big boulder on the rails, that is. Her job was to make sure that no one else than herself could do it. She used to think that if she wasn't so well disposed, although she hid it carefully, she'd have gone insane with boredome after the first three centuries. Or maybe she was. Anyway, she couldn't wait to see the reactions of her housemates to the news, particularly Haruka's. But she was the great and mysterious senshi of time, so she kept her cool and asked.  
  
"And Usagi-chan plans to set me up with Seya-san?"  
  
Again, the younger girl nodded.  
  
"Interesting..." Was all she added, before she focused back on her mug. There were so many timelines, so many alternate universes. Sometimes almost similar, sometimes completely different. She had seen them all. And, in a way, lived them all. At least, she had lived those where mankind AND senshi'd arisen. A time senshi also ought to be good at multi-thinking (i.e. she was just used to follow several lines of thought at the same time, a women's advantage, it is said, according to the last comportemental studies), 'sometimes' she wasn't too sure who she was anymore, and consequently, what she had to do. But chocolate was chocolate. A sure thing to cling to, if nothing else.  
  
A dreamy look appeared on her face. There were so many... combinations that were possible... Some choices had to be done before she could see which timeline they would follow. But already, the number of possible futures was reducing dramatically. They were...  
  
"But, Setsuna-san... Aren't you worried?" Ami shyly interrupted her pompous rambling.  
  
Setsuna allowed herself to smirk and raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "Why should I be? I'm a grown-up girl, you know? I can handle it..." She wouldn't say that one of her worst fear was to end up in a timeline where she would stay alone. She had seen it, it was pretty miserable. She usually ended terminally addicted to some dangerous substance. She glanced at the partly ravaged chocolate box on the low table and sweatdropped. Besides, there were certainly far worse things than dating a gender- changer. She paused, her mind taking the time to taste the idea in all its glorious aspects. Now, come to think about it... Yeaahh...  
  
It tasted like cherry liquor-mixed chocolate. Strong but sweet, subtly perfumed, tantalizing, sensual. And indeed, through her fog of mind-melting pleasure, she realized, horrified, that it was the exact flavour of the chocolate she had unknowlingly just eaten. Oh gods, she wasn't even controlling herself anymore. She didn't wish it to happen to anyone else. She had to save Ami. "But maybe I should ask: why are you so worried?"  
  
The younger girl froze, and for a moment, Setsuna feared that she had reversed back to her former zombie-like state. Then, Ami's face went blazing red and the time senshi could have sworn she saw steam rise from her friend. The thought to use the young genius to heat a sauna complex crossed her mind briefly, before she filed it away for further examination.  
  
Back to the real world at hand, Ami was mumbling something, her gaze glued to her feet.  
  
"Sorry? What did you just say? I suppose that at my age it's not surprising to become a little deaf..." She said good-naturedly.  
  
Ami's face became even brighter and more incoherent.It was almost raining in the room, now. The time senshi had to open her blouse collar. Gods it was so hot in here, all of a sudden!  
  
Setsuna took pity of the young girl - and of herself – and decided to help her out a bit more actively. "Look, Ami-chan, if you don't love her, you will have to tell her, eventually, even if you don't want to hurt her. You cannot avoid her indefinitly. Of course, it will probably break her heart. However, she is a sensitive but strong woman. She will accept your decision, no matter what. But, and this is the most important, don't throw away your friendship with her and don't act as if nothing had happened either. That would probably kill her. Take her feelings for you in account and respect them. Remember that she's your best friend, first. Be honest with her..."  
  
She was startled to see Ami suddenly raise her head, a fierce look on her face.  
  
"But I do love her!" The assurance with which she said that surprised Ami herself. "I... I really love her... I guess I was too mixed up to admit it." Imagining her beloved Makoto, hurt by her, being denied the very thing she was herself craving for... That had been just too much for the blue- haired girl. She couldn't stand that.  
  
Setsuna fought back a scowl. 'So much for the good piece of advice!'  
  
Instead, she wore her usual neutral mask and asked. "Then, what is all the fuss about? You already know she's in love with you..."  
  
Then, with a tone a little bit more edgy than usual, because, really! She was beginning to feel rather frustrated. Why were the young people so complicated these days? Things were far more simple, back then. You just knocked down the one you'd selected, grab them by the hair, hauled them to your cave and ea... err had some fun with them. And that was it! "... You don't even have to worry about Usagi's and the other's reaction and I don't think your mother, as I know her, would object to your relationship with Mako-chan." And she unconsciously unwrapped another chocolate.  
  
Ami's gaze dropped again as she clutched her sides. "I don't know... I... I'm terrified... I guess... Everything's happening so fast... I..."  
  
It suddenly dawned on her what Ami's real problem was, what it was that she couldn't bring herself to ask."... And you've never been too comfortable with those kind of ur... feelings, have you?" Setsuna finished tactfully for her. She looked at the young genius. She had a moment of doubt. Surely, she knew how...? Yes, after all, she was a genius, even chibi-Usa had already figured it out. Ami just needed someone to help her loosen up, gently. It was like walking on eggs considering Ami's reactions to this kind of subjects. The excitement of a new challenge ran through her spine.  
  
The blue-haired girl simply nodded.  
  
"Well, as it seems, you just don't know what to do, do you?" She snatched another chocolate. "But if you don't do anything, your relationship with Mako-chan will not improve. Love can stricke you like a fifty tons hammer, but it is also as fleeting and fragile as a feather." She nodded to herself. That was a good one, she would use it again. "You came to the right person, I happen to have a lot of experience in that matter..."  
  
"Oh really?"  
  
The two women jumped in surprise upon hearing the third voice.  
  
"And what with the line? You almost sounded like Mina-chan! Except we could understand you." Haruka was standing in the doorway, a sly grin curving her lips. Behind her, Michiru was gently laughing. Then, the sandy-haired woman threw her most seductive smile to poor, sweet, innocent Ami. "I think that if Ami-chan wants some tips, Michiru and I would be better suited to the job... don't you?"  
  
Setsuna scoffed, iritated by the senshi of wind's bluntness. "You? You're a mere debutant to this game! I, on the contrary, have had millenias of practice. I could show YOU some tricks!"  
  
The two women were now practically nose to nose, each one wounded that their expertise in the matter could be doubted. "Oh yeah? I'd like to see that, granny! I think you'd need to update, 'cause I doubt you even had a date in the past decades!!!"  
  
Setsuna was about to explode and scream her righteous indignation when she suddenly remembered who she was, and answered, with infuriating calmness. "The fact is that I do prefer quality to quantity, indeed."  
  
Harucka's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Are you insinuating that I don't know how to please Michiru?"  
  
By now, poor Ami was seriously hyperventilating while Michiru was too shocked by the situation to even believe that she had actually heard what had just been said by her two housemates.  
  
Setsuna's evil smirk was Harucka's only answer.  
  
But Harucka was a good pocker player, she wouldn't fall in such an obvious trap and make a fool of herself! Ah! Certainly not! She decided to produce her ace. She reached in her subspace pocket and brought a video tape out of it. "I can prove how good I am." She bent down to be at level with her housemate's face. "I could demonstrate it to you much more... directly, but Hotaru will be home soon. But I'm sure..." She handed the tape. 'H/M testing Kama Sutra I' was written on the cover. "... that this will be enough."  
  
At this, the smirk widened on Setsuna's face. "Maybe, but I still have a great advantage on you..."  
  
That picked Harucka's curiosity and she raised an eyebrow. "And that would be?"  
  
"'I' wrote the Kama Sutra."  
  
There was a dead silence in the room. Haruka's lower jaw had hit the floor, Michiru's eyes were twitching madly and she was about to strike her lover with a fifty tons hammer and Ami's head had finally blown up.  
  
Setsuna looked around her and blinked. "Hey, now! Who ate my last chocolate?" She asked indignantly.  
  
The end  
  
A.N: God that was fun to write! I hope you had as much fun reading it. I realized for quite some time that I really suck at mushy fics (tried it, ashamed to death at the results). So, I decided I'd better stick to humourous and action fics...  
  
* WHAAACKKK! *  
  
Glowering in rage above the now twin bloody goops of the author and Harucka, stand both Michiru and Ami with mallets in hands, ready to beat the crap out of them at the mere sign of life. "THAT WASN'T FUNNY!!!" The two water senshi spit.  
  
From the corner of the screen suddenly appears The Great Will of the Macrocosm in a burst of ethereally tasteless music.  
  
"I, The Great Will of the Macrocosm, reset this story and grant you a new life in order for you to help me get back in my own anim, because I think I'm lost, you see, and I don't want to have to resurrect the characters of another serie too, I've got enough work with the Excel Saga's as it is (which isn't owned by this fanfic's author who is already dead anyway, but by Rikdo Koshi) and I want to get back to my dear Pedro-san, thank you very much..."  
  
Then an alarm is heard. "Oh! I'm going to miss my soap opera! Gotta go! See ya!" And with that, The Great Will of the Macrocosm leaves hastilly with an accelered version of the previous soundtrack.  
  
"NOOOOOOO!!!! COME BAAACKKK!!!" Harucka and the author scream, only to be beaten up to a pulp by the two water senshi once again. 


	4. The FLu

The flu  
  
by Fade9wayz  
  
A Sailor Moon fanfiction pairing Ami and Makoto in my Silly Senshis serie.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters used here. I do own the plot though, unless I was possessed, but I don't see a ghost or demon suing me, unless it's a lawier of course. But then again, this kind of demons are only interested in money and I don't have any...  
  
---------------------------  
  
It seemed as though the snowstorm had been the last spite of winter before spring decided to take over with a vengence. As it was, temperature had risen up considerably, giving a good idea of what summer had in store for Tokyo. The cherry trees were in full blossom, the birds were chirping happilly and all that sort of things. However, things weren't going as well for one Mizuno Ami. Indeed, the ice senshi, of all people, was stuck in bed with a very bad cold and a high fever.  
  
Now, being stuck in bed wasn't such a bad thing, provided she could at least read a good book, that is. Even a simple article would do. Something like, oh, at random, 'The Entropy of the Muon in a Magnetic Field', 'The Complete Encyclopedia On Human Anatomy' or 'The belly dance in ten lessons (Illustrated, DVD included)'. But nooooo!!! Even this simple pleasure was denied to her. She had the worst headache of her life. Under this circumstance, even the Archimedes's law was a galactic mistery for her. Watery, bloodshot eyes and overstuffed nose didn't help in the least.  
  
Wallowing in her own private abyss of misery, she heard the familiar buzz of the door bell, then her mother talking to someone. Quick footsteps followed before the door of her bedroom literally exploded under the vigorous assault of one Nurse Minako Aino. Ami just had the time to cover from the rain of wooden shrappnels behind her bed after having stuck a military helmet on her head. A genius should always be ready for everything...  
  
"Do not fear, Ami-chan!" Exclaimed the senshi of love. "For Nurse Mina is back from her torrid love nest where the hottest, sexiest succubus in the whole world lives, just for you! Yes, you heard me right! Right now my heart is torn between the spell of lust she cast upon me and my honor-bound duty to you, my friend!" Her eyes became glazed. "Bound...?" She shook her head. "No! I have to resist! I shall stand by you in this difficult time!"  
  
Pure, unaldutered terror gripped Ami's heart. "Nonononononononooooo! It's nothing, just a little flu! Don't mind me!" Sadly, her raucous flu-induced voice wasn't really convincing.  
  
Mina strode over her, casually snatched the helmet and tossed it away, she then lifted Ami by the waist band of her pajama before throwing her back in her bed. "Nonsense, Ami-chan. Awful little youmas're assaulting your body. Our motto's always been 'one for all and none for us!' and as the leader of the senshis, my responsability is double. I couldn't live with myself is something happened to you!" By then, Minako had tears welling in her eyes.  
  
Ami sweat dropped.  
  
Then she sneezed.  
  
"But Mina-chan, my mother's there and last time I checked, she was still a doctor..." She said miserably as Mina set to tuck her under the blankets. In fact, to Ami, it felt like the senshi of love was trying to bury her under the blankets.  
  
"Oh, about that, she said she had an important meeting she couldn't put off. Actually, she was the one calling me to ask if I could take care of you."  
  
"My mother called you?" Ami asked faintly.  
  
"Actually, she called Rei. But does that make any difference now that she and I have united soul and body for everlasting love-filled lives?"  
  
Ami groaned and sneezed once again.  
  
Minako frowned. "You have a sore throat, it must hurt, you shouldn't try to speak." Her face suddenly brightened considerably. "I know just what you need! A grog!"  
  
"A what?!?"  
  
"Y'know! Hot wine, lemon, honey and some other stuff. My mother used to make me drink some each time I was sick when I was a kid!" She jumped to her feet and ran to the kitchen.  
  
The young genius was so firmly tucked in that she was helpless to prevent Minako from doing whatever she was doing. She heard noises of clattering dishes, cups meeting their fate, small alarmed cries. She was dozzing off when the blonde finally came back, two hours later or so. She had small cuts and burns everywhere, but she was proudly holding a full jug of a strange dark red liquid. She gently helped the sleepy genius in a sitting position.  
  
Not fully awake, Ami smiled at the delightful smell while Minako helped her drinking it all. The taste was sweet and deliciously perfumed and it soothed her painful throat. "That's nice, I didn't know Mina could..."  
  
Her eyes shot wide open. "Mmmmrdjko?" She tried to say before choking on the grog she was still drinking. She jerked away while Minako patted her back worriedly.  
  
Once she recovered, Ami asked her. "What was that stuff you made me drink?" Her head was already spinning.  
  
"I told you, a grog..."  
  
Ami stared blankly at her, slowly remembering what it was made of, then she turned her head, her gaze falling on the medecine pills her mother had given her on the nightable, then back to Minako. "Oh shit!" Was her last coherent thought before her world became a colourful blur...  
  
---------------------------------------  
  
Ami stirred. Her head was pounding like a giant Japanese drum. She didn't really feel like waking up, but something prevented her from falling asleep again. Feeling a presence by her side, she slowly turned her head and was met by the sight of a young brown-haired goddess sitten in an uncomfortable chair by the bed. The goddess smiled warmly, reached out and stroked a few sweaty strands of hair away from Ami's face.  
  
"How are you feeling?" She asked her softly.  
  
"Mako?" Ami croaked out. "What happened...?"  
  
Makoto looked a bit uneasy. "Well... Remember the grog, Mina-chan made? After you drank it all, you became rather... huu, delirious... So much that Mina-chan panicked and called Rei-chan, who called me in turn..."  
  
The blue-haired girl absorbed the news. No wonder Minako was so hyper if she was regularly given this kind of treatment! Finally, she asked, quite worriedly. "And what... did I say?"  
  
Makoto blushed brightly and looked at the ceiling. "Err... you see... When Rei and I arrived, you were in the middle of a... cough cough"  
  
"Makoto... Mako-chan, what did you say?" The threat in her tone was more than clear.  
  
Makoto sighed. If not her, Rei or Minako would certainly tell her...  
  
"Ahem... you were kindda doing a... strip- teaseonaMarilynMansonsongandyouweretearingyourpajamasapart..."  
  
Funny how fog could suddenly appear in Tokyo.  
  
Makoto took some time to compose herself. The mere thought of the whole ordeal sent multiple chivers down her spine. "... Hum... as soon as you saw me, you came and pushed me on the couch and err... lap-danced while telling me how much you loved me..." Both girl's blushes were so bright that some people on the street thought they had ended up in the red-light district. "You really have beautiful legs, by the way..." Makoto finished rather lamely. 'Damn! Why the hell did I say that? I had a nice speach all ready...! Niiiice legs, though, among other things...'  
  
"I was doing a strip-tease? And you were there?" Ami's voice was incredulous.  
  
"Err, and Rei and Mina too..." Makoto inwardly beat herself up, why did she keep saying stupid things? Ami was probably mortified as hell and there she was, remembering her of petty details...  
  
"Hum, right..."  
  
"And did you enjoy it?"  
  
The last question threw Makoto for a loop. She stared at Ami like she had grown another head or something until she saw the little smile tugging at the young genius lips. She answered with a grin of her own while enthusiasticaly nodding her head. She got back up and leaned in close to Ami's face. "A lot... Let me show you how much..."  
  
She slowly leaned closer, tilting her head slightly and closing her eyes. Ami felt a surge of elation when she realized Makoto, the woman she was madly in love with, was about to kiss her. She closed her own eyes in anticipation and... sneezed, head-butting the taller girl in the process.  
  
"OWWW!!!" They both howled, clutching their respective forehead.  
  
"Oh Mako-chan! I'm so sorry!" She felt tears forming.  
  
"No worries, Ami, no worries... Things like that happen all the time..." She was still rubbing her forehead, a bruise slowly appearing.  
  
"Really?" Ami sounded quite dubious.  
  
"Really!" Makoto confirmed with confidence. "You can't imagine the number of times I've head-butted my ex-boyfriends."  
  
An eerie silence fell between them.  
  
"Hum, good... I guess... Maybe we should improve our technic though..." Stated Ami rather matter-of-factly. She looked around, suddenly remembering something.  
  
"You said Rei came too, didn't you? Where is she? And Minako? Did they go back to the Hikawa shrine?" It was maybe too late, but she wanted to make sure that nothing that had happened here would transpire. She still had a reputation to protect, after all.  
  
Makoto slapped her forehead, wincing a bit after doing so. "I completely forgot about them! Last time I saw them, Rei was scolding Minako for videotaping you and they took off to clean the kitchen."  
  
Ami paled. "Video... tape?" She asked in a strangled voice. She struggled to get out of the bed. "Must find them! Help me!"  
  
As she stumbled on her wobbly legs, Makoto quickly picked her up and they made their way to the kitchen. Ami opened the kitchen door and they entered... to get out and slam the door shut almost immediately after, breathing heavily. More people got lost in the wrong part of the city.  
  
"Was Mina-chan tied to the table? Covered with chocolate?" Makoto asked rethorically after finding back her voice. Her hold on the young woman in her arms increased. The feel of the soft, warm skin pressed against her own, coupled to the vision of her two other friends in the kitchen caused her to have a severe nosebleed. That was the last straw.  
  
"I think they need more time for... the cleaning..." Ami answered, stuffing Makoto's nostrils with tissue. "What was Rei doing with the..."  
  
"Fresh air, need fresh air!"  
  
Still carrying Ami, Makoto walked to the window, stepped on the balcony and sat herself on one of the lounge chairs, the young genius in her lap. She took a long, calming breath. Aaahhh, better...  
  
Ami made herself a bit more comfortable. "You seem to have got fairly used to me sitting in your lap..."  
  
Makoto chuckled. "You were so incredible, Ami-chan, would you mind if I called you 'my little frog'?"  
  
Ami sweatdropped, wondering where that came from and if Makoto wasn't a bit too fond of French cuisine... That or she had finally lost it. As far as she was concerned, the French kiss was more than enough when it came to foreign importations. She just hoped Makoto would never come up with 'my slimey little snail' as a pet name.  
  
Makoto gazzed longingly in the two ocean pools that she adored so much, she slipped a hand on the back of Ami's hand and leaned in. This time, no sudden sneezing interrupted this all important moment. The kiss was everything they had dreamed about. Sweet, gentle, warm, stirring. Soon enough, passion took over and it became fierce, hungry, demanding, breathtaking. Ami's brain was litterally floating in an ocean of endorphine and adrenaline. However, it managed to come up with a revolutionary equation before it drowned happily:  
  
0∫∞[K x L] exp[S x N] = B x mg²t  
  
for K = kiss (mmrrraow!)  
L = lust S = stuffy  
N = nose  
B = blackout  
m = mass g = gravitational acceleration (m/s)  
t = time (sec)  
  
In other words, that the dizziness she was feeling wasn't probably all induced by the new feelings raging inside of her, but that serious lack of oxygen was certainly a primary factor too.  
  
Luckily, Makoto finally realised that her girlfriend's face was turning as blue as her hair and promptly released her. "Oh! I'm sorry! I completely forgot about your flu!"  
  
Makoto wrapped her arms tightly around the young genius as she was recovering her breath. The sky was free of clouds and the stars exceptionally bright.  
  
"Oh! Look! A falling star! Make a wish!" Makoto whispered.  
  
A deep, warm silence engulfed them again as they both made their wish. They both knew each other's wish. Ami snuggled deeper in her lover's embrace, sighing contentedly and occasionaly sniffling.  
  
Makoto reluctantly broke the intimacy of the moment. "Hum... Ami?"  
  
"Yes?" The genius answered in a contented yawn.  
  
"Does it still work when you realize the star was a plane?"  
  
Ami smiled knowingly. She was about to pull an Usagi for once. Actually, she could almost hear the princess saying it. "As long as it comes from your heart, Mako-chan, as long as it comes from your heart..."  
  
--------------------------------------------  
  
Ami's mom sighed wearily as the doors of the elevator opened with the traditional 'DING'. The meeting had lasted longer than expected, and then, on her way back home, strange men kept whistling at her and checking her out. She didn't mind the attention, but these guys were WAY too weird.  
  
Strange, this suburb had the reputation to be a quiet and upscale one, though.  
  
She was so deep in her thoughts that she didn't noticed the thugs waiting in the hall until she almost bumped in them. "Oh dear! I'm sorry! I didn't see you..." She looked at them more closely, they were all wearing black suits and black coats. "I don't remember having ever met you, are you new neighbours?"  
  
The closest to her smirked, revealing a golden tooth. "Yeah, something like that, pretty lady. Are you the owner?" he asked, pointing at her flat door.  
  
"Hum, yes, can I help you...?" She was beginning to have a bad feeling.  
  
They surrounded her. "Ahh, I see you're really new, don't know the rules yet, he? Well, in that case, our boss sent us to welcome you in the business and wish you good luck. He said that he'd be glad to ensure your security too..." The guy drawled before handing her a card. "I'll be back by the end of the week, we take 10 %..." He looked her over one last time before leaving with his friends.  
  
A hand on her door handle, she watched them leave, utterly confused. "What the...?"  
  
The end  
  
A.N: Funny how sometimes a fic stays blocked at one point for weeks, and then, suddenly, you are able to finish it in just one feverish evening... 


End file.
